My Networking Rules

This is an open letter to all those potential connections who are looking to meet and build relationships at future networking events…

Dear Networker:
Let’s start out with the harsh and painful truth–not everyone is worthy of receiving my referrals.  A referral is the sharing of a personal contact with someone you know under the general assumption this connection will benefit one another.  This activity is not something I engage in casually and I only refer people that I have gotten to know and trust.

Contacts within my database fall into several layers and only the very top layers deserve access to my personal contacts.  After all, my reputation is impacted by the outcome of the referral.

Here is a basic idea of the quality of various contacts I have in my database at this time.

1. No personal connection: This is a contact obtained from an ad, phone book or found business card.
2. Poor connection: This person abruptly handed me their own business card, gave their lousy 30-second elevator pitch and proceeded to pounce on some other unfortunate attendee at some networking event.
3. Undefined connection: I briefly spoke to this person at an event or have started to briefly interact with them.  There is no way to gauge the potential for a professional or referral relationship without some more specific follow-up.
4. Unreliable connection: I have had an extensive conversation with this person over multiple networking events or at one focused sitting.  Unfortunately, this person is inconsistent with their follow-ups and does not readily respond to voice messages or emails.  Plus, their business interests and needs contain aspects that I do not understand or can relate to.
5. Potential connection: I have maintained contact with this person through meetings, phone calls, emails and social networking and learned more about them through regular interactions.  This person is reliable, professional and seems to understand the value of effective networking.  I am building a nice relationship with them.
6. Referral level professional connection: I have established a solid relationship with this contact and have successfully and effectively exchanged or shared quality referrals.
7. Trusted professional connection: This is a person I have developed a high level of trust and confidence in.  In fact, I would probably lend my car to this person if they asked.

Not everyone can become a level 7 connection.  However, recognizing the various levels of the relationship building process, we should all be thinking about how we can add value and be of value in our networking activities.  With the increase in networking activities and events, the bad lower level connections seem to be the rule, not the exception.

Building a referral level professional relationship is not about simply meeting with me and trying to pitch me on how I can help you grow your business.  It requires establishing a level of trust and building a relationship that would motivate me to feel comfortable about introducing you to my valued contacts.  I meet a lot of people.  I enjoy making a connection with every single one of them.  That does not mean that everytime I exchange a business card or even have a cup of coffee with you means we are now referral buddies.  It takes more than that.

Building a referral level professional connection means that you demonstrate the type of professionalism that my clients and contacts expect of me.  If you can’t earn it, you can’t have it.  Don’t mistake my participation at a networking event to be an indicator that I am an open referral source.  I am not.  I pick and choose these high-level relationships quite carefully.  The people I could potentially refer you to are my level six and level seven connections.  They are very, very valuable to me.  I am not going to risk what I worked so hard to build on anyone that I do not know and trust, first.

Next time you go to a networking event, look for people who you can build solid referral level professional connections with.  Finding and building referral sources is not a prospecting-like numbers game.  It is a matter of quality, not quantity.  You only need a handful of great connections.  If you do not have enough, chances are you have been behaving like a low level connection.  Change your approach, improve your strategy and raise your professionalism.  The results will improve.